When My Heart Feels Frozen

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

Lately, I’ve been living in the tension between trying to fix my health issues and learning to trust God’s timing over my own. My mind keeps searching for answers while every “algorithm-approved” post on Facebook offers a new solution that never actually helps.

Instead of peace, it brings more overwhelming feelings, more exhaustion, and more anxiety.

When the anxiety rises, even the simple things feel impossible—making decisions, washing my hair, taking a shower. Some days I catch myself wishing I had a chef, a maid, a tutor… someone to hold everything together while I lie in bed and try to breathe. 

This week hits even harder—it’s almost six months since I last saw my Dad. Tomorrow (Nov.27th) is our 15th anniversary. Thanksgiving is here. These should be joyful moments, but right now joy feels distant. Gratitude feels like something I have to reach for, not something that flows out easily. My emotions feel scattered and heavy, and I feel guilty for not being “better.”

But here is the truth God keeps whispering to me:

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

He’s close—even when I feel stuck. He’s steady—even when I don’t know what to do next, He’s working—even when I feel overwhelmed.

And every day, sometimes every hour, He invites me into the quiet practice of constantly trusting Him—not perfectly, not loudly, but honestly.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7

Trusting God doesn’t mean I stop grieving or stop feeling. It means I keep handing Him my grief, my fear, my confusion, my exhaustion… again and again and again and again. It means trusting Him when my mind freezes, my heart grows tired, and my strength runs out.

So today, even with trembling hands, I choose to trust Him—constantly, continuously, imperfectly. Because He has never failed me, even when life feels like too much.

Signed,

A Still Wrestling Woman,

Krystal W.